"You can have Manhattan I know it's for the best. I'll gather up the avenues and leave them on your doorstep. I'll tip toe away So you won't have to say You heard me leave. You can have Manhattan I know it's what you want. The bustle, and the buildings The weather in the Fall. And I'll bow out of place To save you some space For somebody new. You can have Manhattan 'Cause I can't have you. You can have Manhattan The one we used to share. The one where we were laughing And drunk on just being there. Hang on to the reverie Could you do that for me? 'Cause I'm just too sad to. You can have Manhattan 'Cause I can't have you. And so it goes One foot after the other 'Till black and white begin to color in. And I know That holding us in place is simply fear Of what's already changed. You can have Manhattan I'll settle for the beach. And sunsets facing westward With sand beneath my feet. And I'll wish this away Just missing the days When I was one half of two You can have Manhattan 'Cause I can't have you." Manhattan by Sara Bareilles I love this song. It fits my nostalgic mood today. As I finish counting down to the end of December, where my 4 month separation from Nathan comes to a brief end for 1 week, I can't help but relate to the ache in this song. Thank goodness we don't have to be apart one day more. 23 days and counting down.
Can we just skip the part where I complain at being bad at this and get to the point? K, thanks. The snow this morning sparked some random thought in my mind. So...I'm blogging about it. Since I've been home there's been a lot of things I've been looking forward to. Spending time with my family, getting to see friends again, earning money, real food, and most of all the holidays. Not just the holiday itself, but for the atmosphere to FEEL like the holidays. It's weird when you're eating turkey and stuffing in your swimming suit at the side of a pool and it feels more like the 4th of July than Thanksgiving. It gets worse when Christmas trees go up around campus and Christmas lights get strung up every palm tree. You try and focus and make it feel like Christmas, but when you're listening to Mele Kalikimaka on repeat while you're at the beach, it sort of kills the mood. Don't get me wrong!! Right about now, I wish I could be soaking in the sunshine in 75 degree weather. haha. But the holiday season finally feels like the holiday season to me. The feeling of coming inside and warming up with hot chocolate after it being really cold outside. Decorating the Christmas tree with just the lights on the tree lighting the room while listening to Christmas music. Waking up to an eerily beautiful silence, sneaking to the window to see the first blanket of snow. (True, I did have to wake up insanely early to get that blanket of snow out of the way so I could go to work...but it was worth it.) Those are the feelings of the holiday atmosphere I've missed so much. My life is in the incredibly slow and safe lane while it snows. So in the meantime I'll bundle up and dream of the sunny weather other people are getting while I enjoy my hot chocolate and inches of snow. And who knows, I might even build a snowman. ;)
