Until We Meet Again

It's the last week of winter semester. When were my finals going to end? When was I going to get a break? When were my friends leaving? Where did the time go…? The last two questions had been weighing on my mind the most. All the answers to these questions were answered in one week. Monday consisted of studying and planning the last week of fun with everyone. It had been decided that a Kahuku Grill trip was desperately in need. Tuesday night it is! That meant I only had a day to figure out what to do for my friends. I've been known for letters so I'll just stick with that. After the first one, my heart feels heavy. After the second, I'm crying so hard I can't even see straight. Sleep is needed. The next morning is spent working on take home finals, last days of classes, and more planning. Kahuku Grill trip tonight! My emotions move from super excited, to dreading the trip in a matter of minutes. I still have three letters to write and a couple of hours to go. I write two more, with just as much struggle as the first two. The last one seems to be the hardest though. I struggle through it because I have too much to say and not enough time. I address envelopes, put Disney stickers on them, and stick them in my bag. I run to meet everyone else. Parker, Sar, Hannah, Esther, Kelly, Kevin and Camron are all there. We cram into Kevin's car, and with music blasting, begin our awesome party. When we finally get there, I can barely feel my legs. We walk up and it's super busy. I'm secretly excited because the more time we get to spend with each other the better. We order our food and take our seat at the regular picnic table we always sit at. We decide to go around the table and video tape as each person says what they're going to miss about the person next to them. It gives me warm fuzzies and I realize I already miss these kids and they're not even gone yet! We play "Two Truths and a Lie" multiple times until the food comes. After we eat, I decide it's time. I hate making "the speech", but I do. I just tell them how much I'm going to miss them and that I had to get them something. I hand out the letters (apologizing to Camron that I didn't have one for him, and telling Kev and Esther they'll get theirs when they actually go home) and tell them they can read them now or later. I secretly wish they would read them later but I can already hear the seals of the envelopes being ripped open. The awkward silence starts as they all begin to read and I feel my heart beat start to race. Small giggles from each of them as they catch my inside jokes, cheesy lines, and get the overall feeling of my heart in each of their letters. Hannah's done first, which sucks because by the time she comes over to hug me, I'm already crying. Sara's next and even though she won't shed a tear, I know her heart's in the right place. It's just not connected to her tear ducts. Kelly next and I start to feel the tears again but I do my best to keep them internalized. Parker hugs me last and I know that this letter writing thing is going to have to keep, because I can't stand not talking to this kid. Everyone breaks out their cameras and start taking pictures. I wish that I could freeze time right then and never let this moment pass, but I'll settle for a group photo instead.

Wednesday morning is the first day of finals. After a long day of horrible test taking, I meet up with a bunch of other people for our last tennis night. More people show up than ever did any other night. I think it was for the food, but I can't say for sure. Time flies and it's 11 pm and soon security will start showing up. Plus, we all still have finals the next day. Another group photo shot and as I leave the courts I realize I may never see some of these people again. My closest friends aren't leaving yet, so I force that thought to the back of my mind. By Thursday the finals routine is getting so old. I just want to be finished! But…if I'm done, then so are my friends and they'd be…gone. I find out that Thursday night is a Uno filled night of fun. Parker, Sara, Kelly, Hannah, and I meet up in the cage for what may be the last time we've all ever together. I'm determined to make it the most enjoyable night ever. And it is. We play Uno for a while, and then play Spaz. 10:00 is the darkest hour as we all decide that we should probably split up. Parker's flight is tomorrow afternoon and with the last of finals, we probably won't see him again. Tearful goodbyes are exchanged and I leave before I have another breakdown. I had planned for a run so I drop some items off at my room and head outside. It went from decent weather, to pouring rain. Good enough for me, and I start to run around the outside of the circle. A few times around and then I'll be done. I'm running by the stake center when a pang hits my heart. I can't decided if it's because I'm super duper out of shape, or because of the fact that all my friends are leaving, and I've been repressing that thought. I decided to run to the temple and by now the rain's let up a little bit but I'm already soaking wet. When I get there I press the shuffle button on my iPod and the song that comes on, plucks a serious heart string and as the rain starts up again, so do my tears. I listen to the whole song and just let myself cry. I'm pretty sure I've got a hold of myself, but when the next song comes on I start to do this weird, cry/laugh thing. The song is super ironic and I'm pretty sure it's the universe laughing at me. I run back to campus and think of the amazing memories I've had this past semester with some of the most amazing people ever. Friday I say goodbye to Sara, Saturday to Hannah and on that next Wednesday to Kelly. In less than a week, all but one of my best friends here in Hawaii was gone. I'm pretty sure I spent the next couple of days looking through Facebook pictures and crying myself to sleep. I realize something though. Even if I won't see some of these kids for 5 months, 8 months, 2 years or longer, we'll always have the memories in Hawaii. And those will last a lifetime.