A Letter to "Stephanie"

Dear "Stephanie",

I don't know who you are...but the random people who keep calling me from all across the United States are looking for you.  I don't think they are important people.  They're mostly telemarketers or recordings of telemarketers.  

I'd like to think that you just got your phone number wrong when you gave it out to whoever you did.  I really hope you just didn't put down some random phone number, because it didn't turn out to be random.  It turned out to be mine.  Whoever you gave it to, gave it to about a thousand other people.

Wanna know what's even worse?  The time difference!  Little did you know that incorrect phone number belonged to someone who lived in HAWAII.  No one likes being woken up at 4 AM every hour till 7 AM to a phone number they don't know, just to have it be a telemarketer looking for someone who isn't even you.  And oh how I wish it was from the same place!  That way I could just block it or ignore it, but it never is.  Maryland to Arizona.  New York to Washington state.  California to Virginia.

So "Stephanie", I'll continue to ignore the calls or tell them they have the wrong number.  You're welcome.

Sincerely,

I'M NOT STEPHANIE